he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
