Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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