So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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