Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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