I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
