Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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