he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
