So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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