Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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