i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
