I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
