id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
