dude i'm inner monologue high
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
