I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
