Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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