Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
