im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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