you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
