well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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