Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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