im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Randomize
