I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize