dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
