apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize