so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think people are normalizing furries
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
