I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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