my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize