Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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