I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
