I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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