so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
