my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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