do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
