dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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