I look better un-naked...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
