I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
