Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
