I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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