Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
