but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
