We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
