do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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