You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
