she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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