dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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