After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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