the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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