oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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