Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked