Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.