I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.