My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic