Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Me too!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
