I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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