Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We just shotgunned beers for America
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
