i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
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I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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