I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
