More tranny stories later!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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