Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
