chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
