i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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