That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
