she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
