i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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