Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
