How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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