doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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