She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
