You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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